Blog3:Boys

Every girl goes through a cottie stage right? I hate to tell you but nope, not all girls do. I can tell you every single crush I had. My first believe it or not was in pre-school, and yes i remember his name. I remember all there names. I dont wanna bore yu to death by naming all them from when I was little so I'll talk about more recent boys, not everyone just the important ones. I actually can't even say that cause I believe that all the boys I considered my "boyfriend" made an impact on my life and who I am today. Well lets start with my 7th grade year I thought I really really liked this one boy names Ricky I said I loved him to myself I never told him but he hurt me and I learned when that happend I did not love him I just wanted myself to think I did. After Ricky I had alot more "boyfriends" that each lasted for like a week each. A little before Easter I started going out with this boy named Evan, I stayed with him for what I thought was a while which was actually a couple months I didnt even like him that much. I guess I just wanted a boyfriend at that time. I remember having my friend break up with him over the phone for me cause someother boy liked me. Then I had this other boy and I recall going out with him for like only a month or so but then broke with him cause I was sick of hearing crap about us being together. After I broke up with him we stopped talking. Then one day I saw him in McDonalds and we started talking to him again we were real good friends and then he asked me out again and I kept putting it off but he would just continue to ask and then one day I finally said yes. A week later I broke up with him. I broke up with him because we were like best friends I know guys hate to hear your like a brother to me but thats what he was like to me so I had to do it. After them im not sure when, but I started going out with this boy named Ryan. I went out with him for a while. Sometimes he would be the cutest thing but when we were around other people I hate to say it but he acted different, and man i fell so hard for him. I know they say your too young to fall in love but thats so not true. I believe you can fall in love at any age. I was completly and tottaly inlove with him. I loved all of him the way he looked the way he smelled and he was so funny he could make me laugh so hard. But I guess I was so in love with him i began to be clingy. I hate that that happend but I guess it did. And after like 8 months I was dumped. It was so hard for me to deal with that. I found out over the computer when I read that I was shocked I didnt know what to do. I picked up my phone and callled my friend and she ran and picked me up and we went to her house and we made chocolate everything! And trust me when I say everything I mean everything! She comforted me just like i needed to be, and for that I so glad to call her my best friend. There however was one downside to her house. She and Ryan were cousins and they lived close. This memory is still clear as day in my head. He came over. We were in the kitchen. And I saw him and cried I cried so hard it was so hard to be inches away from the one that broke your heart. I never ever cried infront of a boy! I was raised with the sayin "Never let eem see you cry" which just means never cry infront of a boy, and I never did till then. But after awhile I began to heal don't get me wrong I was still devastated. I remember him texting me and me jut ignoring him and that was so so so hard to do that one day I cracked and answerd him back. Before I go any furter I have to tell you before when we were going out for a long time we never kissed. Back to where I was so after it was to hard to ignore him we began to talk more and then we started hanging out. There was this one night that I will remembe for the rest of my life. We were both at my friends ,his cousins, and we both stayed the night I mean that night there was some flirting but that was normal for us. So I thought nothing of it. Later on that night my friend fell asleep and we were both still up and he asked me how come when we were going out when he asked me to kiss I said no. And to this day iv never told him truly why. So he asked me why and I didnt answer so he was just like your scared scardy cat and stuff and of course I denied it and then he said prove it. At that moment I was so shocked so i didnt say anything so he says again prove it and then I finally got the guts to say okay still not being able to breath I was so nevous but I wanted it so bad. And thankfully he said after this song I like it which was the best thing he could have ever did i needed time to short things out in my head and man all i needed was that three min I was so ready. And after that song it happend. And let me remind you we were not even going out then. That morning I left and he left before me, but after I left I texted my friend and told her she was just like really when I was sleeping? Haha. She didnt seem suprised she had all faith in us more then we both did. But tha led to us hanging out another day. We went to the movies and he asked me out again, and with me being head over heels I was not gonna pass it up. I knew what I was risking but I could not pass it up. But sad to say I was dumped again. Being hurt but not as bad as the first time. I was babysitting with my cousin when I got the break up text. I remember alot of the good times we had together. I even remember when we first started going out. My friend was on aim and told me he wanted to go out and then I remember imin him saying so do we go out now and he said yes. And that was the start to that relationship, but what started it all was my friend's party. After the party we all went back to her house and thats when they flirng started. We got shaving cream for something I remember getting it and putting it on him. On his face and I made a shaving cream hand print on his back. We were the last people up. I was starting to fall asleep and he started talking about porslin dolls and that started that conversation, that went on for a while we only got like four hours of sleeep that night. Oh and one of the best times with him was when we went to New Jersey and he had an inground pool and a hot tube. Ah what a fun day. Oh and the best time I ever had with him was when we were in his room watching a movie and I laid my head on his chest. That was one of the most amazing moments I had with him. Now a days I still talk to him but I havent seen him in a long time.

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